Something different :)

I usually don't think this sentimentally about things but today I was genuinely thinking deeply about things in life and 'Love' was one of those things that popped up. Whenever I think of the idea of love, there's a range of things which cross my mind. Family, friends and of course partners. Being teenagers, we always wonder whether what the future holds for us, especially in terms of love. I'm always rather hesitant when trying to talk with people about this. It may be the immaturity in me, but there are genuine reasons that make me think that romanticism is not all it's cracked up to be. It doesn't mean I don't disbelieve. But how do we explain people who numerously re-marry and claim to be 'in love' each time? In general I'm a firm believer that not everyone has a soulmate and we're just people who find others interesting. The interest builds and this leads into a partnership with them. As ignorant as that sounds, my mind isn't creative enough to imagine a blissful story in which two people are able to confidently ignore the harsh realities of the world and focus on themselves and their love as individuals.

 When I type 'Love' into google, it reads "Love is an emotion of a strong affection and personal attachment". This sounds about right....but I wouldn't know. Can't we be attached to people without that strong affection? I want to believe in love, I am a big fan of rom-coms and I love cute cringey moments of people together. Watching people together is always interesting and as I always say, there is a VERY thin line between love and hate and a very small time lapse. I don't know whether it's sad or quite odd that human emotions can become imbalanced in a matter of seconds.

How do you fall out of love? Once you've fallen in, it must be pretty damn deep. In metaphorical terms, I always think of love as being like a giant hole and the stronger your emotions become the more it becomes difficult to climb out. Except in this case, the hole is colourful and bright and full of hope.

How do you explain dating sites? Advertising to find your 'Perfect partner'? I hate the internet for allowing things like this, because I believe 'Love' should be natural if it exists in it's true form. I mean, I shouldn't talk so soon. Many adults use these after their relationships/marriages end but I personally don't agree with them.

The whole point of this random blog post was that my friend got me thinking whether there is actually someone out there for everybody. No two people are the same, but some people are definitely perfect for each other.

Up and up?

 In terms of maturing and developing myself, I have had a rather great 

past two weeks. The two weeks were in great contrast to each other, and 

showed each aspect of my personality well. I always hesitate to use the 

word 'Personality' whilst describing myself because I'm not too sure 

what mine is. I mean I know my interests, hobbies, friends but I'm not 

entirely sure on the true state of mind I have. 

Regardless, I hope it sounds like I'm moving in a positive direction 

by each blog post because that is my main aim. This blog is a startling 

reflection of my confidence levels, which are beginning to emerge 

again after being in the shadows for the past few years. It's weird 

because I'm only 17 yet I always feel much older than I actually am. 

Last week was a week of mistakes for me. Not just one, two or three- 

numerous mistakes which I felt personally persecuted by. It doesn't 

bother me in that someone would get angry at me. The worst feeling 

for someone to have in me is disappointment because I feel that 

too and further feel disappointed in myself. It was also a week 

of great and worse achievement, in terms of personal and academic 

goals. Sometimes I get nervous and stress at small mistakes I've 

made but in making so many I've realised that I just need to 

embrace them and move on. Staying focused on past mistakes 

only keeps you paused in the game of life. 

I'm finally starting to feel like the main person in my life. 

Fair enough, I'm not showy and don't like drawing attention to 

myself but I think I assert myself in the right way. One thing 

I love about myself is that I can change drastically in a few 

hours. Some people think that's strange, but am I living life 

to please them? No I'm not. I only get one go. No re-do. 

I'm thoroughly happy, and only small things stand in the way 

of me being truly happy in life. Those are small things. 

When things aren't going right, I need to try harder. When 

things are going right, I need to be thankful for 

everything fate hands me. 

Because I know one thing could change everything.