Up and up?

 In terms of maturing and developing myself, I have had a rather great 

past two weeks. The two weeks were in great contrast to each other, and 

showed each aspect of my personality well. I always hesitate to use the 

word 'Personality' whilst describing myself because I'm not too sure 

what mine is. I mean I know my interests, hobbies, friends but I'm not 

entirely sure on the true state of mind I have. 

Regardless, I hope it sounds like I'm moving in a positive direction 

by each blog post because that is my main aim. This blog is a startling 

reflection of my confidence levels, which are beginning to emerge 

again after being in the shadows for the past few years. It's weird 

because I'm only 17 yet I always feel much older than I actually am. 

Last week was a week of mistakes for me. Not just one, two or three- 

numerous mistakes which I felt personally persecuted by. It doesn't 

bother me in that someone would get angry at me. The worst feeling 

for someone to have in me is disappointment because I feel that 

too and further feel disappointed in myself. It was also a week 

of great and worse achievement, in terms of personal and academic 

goals. Sometimes I get nervous and stress at small mistakes I've 

made but in making so many I've realised that I just need to 

embrace them and move on. Staying focused on past mistakes 

only keeps you paused in the game of life. 

I'm finally starting to feel like the main person in my life. 

Fair enough, I'm not showy and don't like drawing attention to 

myself but I think I assert myself in the right way. One thing 

I love about myself is that I can change drastically in a few 

hours. Some people think that's strange, but am I living life 

to please them? No I'm not. I only get one go. No re-do. 

I'm thoroughly happy, and only small things stand in the way 

of me being truly happy in life. Those are small things. 

When things aren't going right, I need to try harder. When 

things are going right, I need to be thankful for 

everything fate hands me. 

Because I know one thing could change everything.